How I Learned to Ask for Help

By Miracle Negron

I have been in the foster care system since I was four years old.

At first, I was in kinship care, where you live with a relative. After a few months, I was able to go back to my parents. I was six when I re-entered care. My parents didn't do what was expected of them and for three years, on and off, I was told that I could live with them again. It never happened. I was constantly let down. I was also considered a child with "special needs" all because I refused to answer any questions they asked me. When I went to school, I would get extremely frustrated and it was worse at home because my basic needs were never met. I was smart enough for the smart classes but because of my label, I wasn't able to join. It was also because of this special needs label that I was adopted.

My adoption took place in 2005. Within five months of meeting the new family, I was adopted. At first, this home was everything I hoped for. Little did I know, they didn't approve of the way I was. They hated the fact that I wasn't straight and didn't like wearing dresses. They wanted a little girl when they actually had a little boy. There was constant arguing. I was put back into foster care at 16. I thought this would be the same as before and I wasn't going to like it. Turns out, I knew my new foster family from my elementary school. I fell in love with the family automatically. A typical day looked pretty normal, and everyone who lives there was adopted, so no one was treated differently. The mom had been a foster mom for over 40 years and she accepted everyone with open arms. I actually felt like I was part of her family. As the time approached for me to be exiting care, she helped me get furniture and food for my new apartment.

Once I moved out, things changed. She still visits me, however it is less so. With the help of Community Youth Services, it made my transition of losing my family and becoming part of theirs much easier. I'm part of the many programs they offer, including their housing program. They actually care about their youth. Through them, I have funds to go to school and a family I can rely on. Now, I check in with them on a pretty regular basis. They helped me with getting into the University of Washington Tacoma this fall and are great people.

However, being on my own is tricky. I'm a pretty independent person, although if I screw up, it's on me and I have to learn from my own mistakes and experiences. Going to UW Tacoma will be different, but I know if I need it, I can count on others to have my back. Reaching out for help has always been a struggle because I never knew who I could rely on. As an adult, I learned that everyone needs help now and then.